It's been over a year since I declared "I Quit" on this blog and I have patiently worked through the longest job search of my career.
8 resume revisions, >10 interviews, and about 25 thank notes later, I landed a fantastic job in the private sector.
Last night, I quit. Words can hardly begin to describe how good I felt and how happy I was last night. College graduation doesn't even compare to this feeling.
I have a great new boss who is respectful, kind, highly intelligent, and works collaboratively with his people. I have a new culture focused on quality and friendliness.
Check it out: RMC Water and Environment.
The boss was shcokingly cool and had some pretty amazing things to say:
"That's a great company - really up and coming"
"You are going to do great there"
"You have better for my career than I have been for yours"
"You are a great manager"
"People here really like you"
"I would hire you again in a minute"
"Are you willing to work for us as a consultant?"
I was really taken aback. My therapist said that he felt he could finally say these things as I no longer was a threat. Wow.
This is going to be so good for me - I deserve this.
Did I mention that it will take me to the Bay area about once a quarter!!!!!
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Friday, September 26, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Codependence
I have always considered myself to be a strong, independent woman. It wasn't until my therapist identified this recurring theme with putting others' opinions and needs above my own and creating situations which disappoint me that I realized I may have a problem with codependence. In trying to make others' happy, I seem to be making myself miserable.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Letter to My Husband
Dear Husband,
We have prided ourselves on creating an alternate reality in our marriage. In bucking the sexist notions of man and wife and creating our own dream. We did this without really talking about our expectations of one another.
I have spent many months thinking about our marriage and how we have arranged our lives, and I am not happy with our current arrangement.
I am no longer willing to support you financially.
We obviously have divergent views on your role as the parent who stays home. I do appreciate that you have stayed home. I do appreciate that our kids have had that time.
But I am no longer willing to continue this arrangement, and it is time for you to get a job.
We need to talk and come to an agreement about how we are to manage our family, both financially and otherwise.
Let's arrange for a sitter this weekend so that we can have a serious conversation about our needs and the next steps.
We have prided ourselves on creating an alternate reality in our marriage. In bucking the sexist notions of man and wife and creating our own dream. We did this without really talking about our expectations of one another.
I have spent many months thinking about our marriage and how we have arranged our lives, and I am not happy with our current arrangement.
I am no longer willing to support you financially.
We obviously have divergent views on your role as the parent who stays home. I do appreciate that you have stayed home. I do appreciate that our kids have had that time.
But I am no longer willing to continue this arrangement, and it is time for you to get a job.
We need to talk and come to an agreement about how we are to manage our family, both financially and otherwise.
Let's arrange for a sitter this weekend so that we can have a serious conversation about our needs and the next steps.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Headstand
I did it! I finally did it!!
I needed the help of a wall, and guidance from my teacher, but it was great. I was laughing with joy.
Not that yoga is competitive . . . .
Sunday, August 31, 2008
WOW
So after a very frustrating month with our new rescue dog, see Meet Ollie, I went to my first training session with Salem pictured here with the white dog.
Wow, I mean really WOW!
In the past 15 years, I have had private dog training, class training, and read books. Salem respected all that, but listened to my specific concerns, gave me some homework, and in just a couple days, my world has gotten 10 times better. I, of course, still have a lot more to do and a long way to go, but Ollie is acknowledging me and sticking close to me, which is what I need to get to the next step. I see light at the end of the tunnel and my husband finally agreed to let us get his license, his way of agreeing to keep the dog - yay!
Wow, I mean really WOW!
In the past 15 years, I have had private dog training, class training, and read books. Salem respected all that, but listened to my specific concerns, gave me some homework, and in just a couple days, my world has gotten 10 times better. I, of course, still have a lot more to do and a long way to go, but Ollie is acknowledging me and sticking close to me, which is what I need to get to the next step. I see light at the end of the tunnel and my husband finally agreed to let us get his license, his way of agreeing to keep the dog - yay!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
More Good Advice on Happiness
Courtesy of Carmine Coyote at http://www.slowleadership.org/blog/2008/08/how-to-give-up-suffering-the-workplace-blues/
Don’t buy the foolish idea you have a right to be happy and successful. There’s no such right. The best way to be happy is to give up being miserable. The best way to be successful is to be who you are and do what fits with that. Sometimes you’ll feel happy, sometimes sad, and very often neither. That’s the way life is. Smile and enjoy it.
Stop watching your emotions. They’re not worth it. They go up, then down, then up again like the stockmarket. No one really knows why, whatever they try to tell you — not even mental health professionals. You can’t will your emotions go or stay where you want, so quit driving yourself nuts by trying. Best of all, treat them like the weather: sometimes an inconvenience, sometimes a pain, and sometimes full of joyous sunshine. Many of them are probably due more to what you ate or drank yesterday than anything meaningful.
Don’t buy the foolish idea you have a right to be happy and successful. There’s no such right. The best way to be happy is to give up being miserable. The best way to be successful is to be who you are and do what fits with that. Sometimes you’ll feel happy, sometimes sad, and very often neither. That’s the way life is. Smile and enjoy it.
Stop watching your emotions. They’re not worth it. They go up, then down, then up again like the stockmarket. No one really knows why, whatever they try to tell you — not even mental health professionals. You can’t will your emotions go or stay where you want, so quit driving yourself nuts by trying. Best of all, treat them like the weather: sometimes an inconvenience, sometimes a pain, and sometimes full of joyous sunshine. Many of them are probably due more to what you ate or drank yesterday than anything meaningful.
Mid Week Motivator
Lessons from The Tao Te Ching or Daodejing
(Number 3 is my favorite)
1) Live with Commitment. Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth “You Owe Me”. Just look what happens with a love like that....It lights up the whole sky.
2) There is no way to Happiness...Happiness is the way. Bring Happiness to all you do.
3) You accomplish much by trying less.
4) See yourself in everyone you encounter. They want peace, not always struggling, not being sick. They want love.
5) Trust in other’s to know what’s best for them.
6) Live without attachments and be generous with what you have.
7) Be strong by bending.
8) When you have a choice to be “Right” or to be “Kind” – Always pick to be “Kind”.
9) Practice radical humility. Live low like the ocean for all the streams will come to it.
10) Rather than looking for Miracles, see everything as Miraculous.....
11) Practice death while you are alive. Live as though heaven is on earth. Release yourself from your burdens, regrets, guilt, and anger that cages you. Instead live in peace, tranquility, forgiveness and harmony.
(Number 3 is my favorite)
1) Live with Commitment. Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth “You Owe Me”. Just look what happens with a love like that....It lights up the whole sky.
2) There is no way to Happiness...Happiness is the way. Bring Happiness to all you do.
3) You accomplish much by trying less.
4) See yourself in everyone you encounter. They want peace, not always struggling, not being sick. They want love.
5) Trust in other’s to know what’s best for them.
6) Live without attachments and be generous with what you have.
7) Be strong by bending.
8) When you have a choice to be “Right” or to be “Kind” – Always pick to be “Kind”.
9) Practice radical humility. Live low like the ocean for all the streams will come to it.
10) Rather than looking for Miracles, see everything as Miraculous.....
11) Practice death while you are alive. Live as though heaven is on earth. Release yourself from your burdens, regrets, guilt, and anger that cages you. Instead live in peace, tranquility, forgiveness and harmony.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Third Wristband
First of all, thanks to Yerlte for your kind words about unconditional love. You made me very, very happy to know that you feel this way about our friendship and my feelings for you. What a treat to hear it!
An thanks to Sierra for the good dog advice. I took Ollie to a fenced tennis court area and he ran and ran (and pooped three times) and seemed to tire himself out. He likes to catch the ball, but then just prances and shows off that he has it.
So today I took the kids to Boomers, a local amusement park. I used some points from the San Diego Blood Bank, where I donate several times a year, to get all day passes, or "wristbands". We got 4 to start and had planned to take the kids twice while the adult(s) watches. Well, I decided to use a pass for myself. I got to ride go karts, play miniature golf, ride a Ferris wheel, play laser tag, get nauseous on the tea cups, and even ride the merry-go-round swings. I had so much fun playing along with my kids and enjoying the day. I stressed less, yelled less, and threatened less. All in all a good time.
It hit me the hardest when I was on the swings. These are the swings that hang from long chains and then get twirled around - this ride by a large clown - clown story to follow. So my daughter talked me into riding this and I was told to sit in front of a little 4 year old girl, to "balance" the ride. After a few rotations, this darling little girl belts out a "Wheee, yeah!" and throws back her head. Well, who was I not to follow suit. Then she started laughing and laughing - what a delight!
About the clowns, did you know that it is International Clown Week??? We met Dizzy Dave, a quiet, almost nervous clown who works a desk job at AT&T when he is not clowning around. We had a great conversation with him over cotton candy, which the kids offered to share. It was fun to listen to the kids ask him who he saw at ComiCon. (this is the blog for links, huh?). Then we ran into Dizzy's friends in the parking lot - they were joining him for a round of miniature golf - a close knit group of friends, all dressed to the nines in clown gear, and wheeling one clown in a wheelchair. I have never seen a disabled clown and something about the site warmed my heart. To have that joy and to share it, too beautiful. My kids got "I saw a clown today" stickers and it was great! I felt like the town know-it-all when I told them "Oh, Dizzy Dave is inside waiting for you!"
A beautiful day for sure!
An thanks to Sierra for the good dog advice. I took Ollie to a fenced tennis court area and he ran and ran (and pooped three times) and seemed to tire himself out. He likes to catch the ball, but then just prances and shows off that he has it.
So today I took the kids to Boomers, a local amusement park. I used some points from the San Diego Blood Bank, where I donate several times a year, to get all day passes, or "wristbands". We got 4 to start and had planned to take the kids twice while the adult(s) watches. Well, I decided to use a pass for myself. I got to ride go karts, play miniature golf, ride a Ferris wheel, play laser tag, get nauseous on the tea cups, and even ride the merry-go-round swings. I had so much fun playing along with my kids and enjoying the day. I stressed less, yelled less, and threatened less. All in all a good time.
It hit me the hardest when I was on the swings. These are the swings that hang from long chains and then get twirled around - this ride by a large clown - clown story to follow. So my daughter talked me into riding this and I was told to sit in front of a little 4 year old girl, to "balance" the ride. After a few rotations, this darling little girl belts out a "Wheee, yeah!" and throws back her head. Well, who was I not to follow suit. Then she started laughing and laughing - what a delight!
About the clowns, did you know that it is International Clown Week??? We met Dizzy Dave, a quiet, almost nervous clown who works a desk job at AT&T when he is not clowning around. We had a great conversation with him over cotton candy, which the kids offered to share. It was fun to listen to the kids ask him who he saw at ComiCon. (this is the blog for links, huh?). Then we ran into Dizzy's friends in the parking lot - they were joining him for a round of miniature golf - a close knit group of friends, all dressed to the nines in clown gear, and wheeling one clown in a wheelchair. I have never seen a disabled clown and something about the site warmed my heart. To have that joy and to share it, too beautiful. My kids got "I saw a clown today" stickers and it was great! I felt like the town know-it-all when I told them "Oh, Dizzy Dave is inside waiting for you!"
A beautiful day for sure!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Mid Year Resolution
Even though I'm still trying to keep up with my new year's resolutions, I seem to have added one earlier this month.
It all started with the vacation. I made a point of not bringing work along on the vacation - no laptop and I kept my cell off unless I wanted to call out. I also made a conscious decision not to talk about work too much. This stems from the fact that work tends to made me sad and talking about it only brings me and others down. I did talk some about my job search as that was more uplifting and positive.
So, I kind of liked this new approach and have worked to stick with it since coming back from vacation. I am working especially hard to not let this talk come into family dinner time or time alone with my husband.
I'm okay talking about the job search, as long as I stay positive, but I work very hard not to rehash and complain about my day.
And you know what? I like this new way much better, and since I like it, I think I'm going to stick with it!
It all started with the vacation. I made a point of not bringing work along on the vacation - no laptop and I kept my cell off unless I wanted to call out. I also made a conscious decision not to talk about work too much. This stems from the fact that work tends to made me sad and talking about it only brings me and others down. I did talk some about my job search as that was more uplifting and positive.
So, I kind of liked this new approach and have worked to stick with it since coming back from vacation. I am working especially hard to not let this talk come into family dinner time or time alone with my husband.
I'm okay talking about the job search, as long as I stay positive, but I work very hard not to rehash and complain about my day.
And you know what? I like this new way much better, and since I like it, I think I'm going to stick with it!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Meet Ollie
So we turned our lives upside down this weekend and adopted a gorgeous, and strong, Labrador/Brittany Spaniel mix from Labrador Rescue. His name is Ollie. Ollie is between 2 and 4 years old and weighs about 60 pounds. He was rescued the day he was to be euthanized and after spending one month is the shelter. From the shelter, he spent one month in boarding and then one month with a foster family. So his last three months have been pretty unsteady.We adopted him to be a running partner for me as our current dog is getting older and having joint issues. She will still come on the walks, but can't run anymore without injury.
Since adopting Ollie Saturday morning, we have had a lot of excitement. He has:
- Escaped the house twice, running up and in and out of the street for about 1/4 mile each time.- Eaten 1/4 of a birthday cake, off the kitchen counter, damn those long legs!
- Discovered how to get into the automatic close garbage can in the kitchen.
- Destroyed one toy which our current dog never even damaged.
- Tore up the carpet tack strip in our bedroom entry way.
- Run 20 miles and still has energy to spare. (The husband has also taken him running - I couldn't dream of going that far in three days!)
- Eaten the nose off of one of my son's stuffed animals.
- Found the opossums living in the neighbors bushes.
- Pulled me in directions I didn't know I could go.
- Captured my heart.
Now I just need him to capture my husband's heart!
Wish us luck!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Like a Slap in the Face
So I went back to work today after a couple weeks away.
Wow.
I feel so drained. It was so hard to go into work after being away. To walk into the climate I have grown to hate. To try to put on a smile for the people I like, but the place I hate.
We had a board meeting and then the annual employee appreciation lunch. This is when my boss pretends I don't exist. He doesn't introduce me to anyone, doesn't acknowledge my accomplishments, doesn't sit with me, and doesn't allow me to present to the board, instead presenting letters I wrote as if he wrote them himself.
Further justification for why I am looking for a new job.
Which I will find, on my timetable and to suit my needs.
I will appreciate the experience I gained here and learn from it while I create a new reality for myself.
I deserve recognition, growth, opportunity, challenge and respect. All of this and more.
Wow.
I feel so drained. It was so hard to go into work after being away. To walk into the climate I have grown to hate. To try to put on a smile for the people I like, but the place I hate.
We had a board meeting and then the annual employee appreciation lunch. This is when my boss pretends I don't exist. He doesn't introduce me to anyone, doesn't acknowledge my accomplishments, doesn't sit with me, and doesn't allow me to present to the board, instead presenting letters I wrote as if he wrote them himself.
Further justification for why I am looking for a new job.
Which I will find, on my timetable and to suit my needs.
I will appreciate the experience I gained here and learn from it while I create a new reality for myself.
I deserve recognition, growth, opportunity, challenge and respect. All of this and more.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Authenticity
Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Quote for the Day
“If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.”
— Edith Wharton
— Edith Wharton
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Happiness
I've been thinking a lot about happiness over the past year and working to understand how to have more of it in my life.
I have listened to tapes from the dali lama, I have spent countless hours on The Chief Happiness Officer's blog, I have started and continued yoga, I have worked to stay healthy and most of all I have spent more time living in the moment.
So, when I came across this quote, it gave me pause . . .
The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it. - C. P. Snow (1905 - 1980)
Just as I type this, happiness happened to me. My darling daughter gave me a butterfly made from pipe cleaners - too sweet!
So the point of today's blog is that happiness is right here, right now, and right below our noses. We don't need to pursue it, we need to acknowledge it!
I have listened to tapes from the dali lama, I have spent countless hours on The Chief Happiness Officer's blog, I have started and continued yoga, I have worked to stay healthy and most of all I have spent more time living in the moment.
So, when I came across this quote, it gave me pause . . .
The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it. - C. P. Snow (1905 - 1980)
Just as I type this, happiness happened to me. My darling daughter gave me a butterfly made from pipe cleaners - too sweet!
So the point of today's blog is that happiness is right here, right now, and right below our noses. We don't need to pursue it, we need to acknowledge it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.JPG)