Tuesday, January 29, 2008

My Other Job

I've taken on another job, it's called finding a new job and I do it in the evenings and on weekends.

It involves getting references lined up, updating and tailoring my resume, identifying opportunities, and getting the word out that I'm for hire.

This is in addition to my daytime job of working for an idiot.

This job search keeps me motivated, it keeps me from getting too discouraged when work gets nasty (like when my boss accused me of insubordination), and even my husband helps out in the process by researching opportunities and keeping an open mind.

I'm about to panic though as it seems my husband is about to lose his job.

A good thing, in general, but a little sooner than we had hoped.

Lots of change, but the family is strong.

10 year wedding anniversary coming up - party woo!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Bottle

My husband and I have put ourselves on a financial diet recently to prepare for him quitting his job this summer. Diet is the best word for it becasue that is how it feels. I feel like we are restricting calories (things and perks) and exercising (spending time to save even more money, like spending time shopping sales or doing things ourselves).

So far it is going okay, but one thing I am missing is my bottled water. I know it's better for the environment to drink from the tap, but I am a water snob and have been enjoying bottled water in my home. Those nice big bottles of always ready, clear, cold water. But now it is gone.

Tap water is more convenient - I can get it from any of our 4 faucets in the house - and it's better for the environment - no diesel trucks delivering plastic encased water to me.

Oh well, if that's all I have to complain about, drinking tap over bottled water, then life must be pretty damn good!

Sunday, January 13, 2008


I had seen the "YOU" series of books for a while (you know the ones, "YOU on a diet", etc.) but didn't know much about them. That was until my in-laws sent us "YOU Staying Young". Now, my in-laws are in their late 70's and just recently gave up tent camping - they're healthy stock!

The book has opened my eyes to several concepts, some I've had in my mind, but just not as strongly supported.

One concept is the concept of venting. The book, and another source that I can't recall right now, state that although venting may seem to feel good, it is actually counterproductive. That venting or griping about an upset actually makes matters worse. It reminds me of the story about the "worry tree", which was read recently at my Rotary during "Words of Wisdom".

The Worry Tree ! Author unknown

The Carpenter I hired to help me restore and old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree", he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

"Funny thing is", he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

Every time I had heard this story I thought the moral was that you shouldn't subject your family to your problems, but now I understand that the real benefactor is you. That by not giving your worries power, you minimize and shrink them. That by choosing to be happy in your life, you can minimize the sadness.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008


Sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. After many discussions on how we can change our lives, it came down to me working full-time in a higher paying position and supporting the family financially so that my husband can basically become a house husband. I'm scared of the responsibility, which was given to me because I have more earning potential and am better at boundaries (i.e., if I work full-time, I'll be home for dinner - if he works full-time, he most likely would work a lot of overtime). It makes me feel a little trapped. I'm also scared of being the sole bread winner.

It's also about mom guilt. I explained recently that the only reason I don't have more mom guilt is that I know that he is home with them. That when they are in camp or with the nanny, I have more mom guilt. If I can't be there for them, I want him to be there for them, on vacations, when they are sick, etc.

What if I move the family and fail? When I think that I get mad at myself for underestimating my abilities and letting fear rule me, but at the same time, moving the family for a job for me is a BIG deal. I had always wanted to give my kids the stability that was lacking in my childhood. A home and neighborhood from birth through high school. Too much to ask? Are they young enough that it would be okay? Will I be able to create the same network of friends in my new home? Is it worth it?

Friday, January 4, 2008

Resolutions to the Power of One

Here it is, the obligatory New Year's Resolution blog.

In looking at resolutions, I think of the SMART system of setting goals. Specific, measurable, action-oriented, realistic, and time-oriented.

So, here are mine for the new year . . .

Take my lunch to work at least once a week. This will save money and calories, and I already make the family's lunches so it's not a lot of extra work.

Weight train once a week. I've fallen off the wagon on this, but in one day I can do squats, bench press and one-armed row and get the majority of my muscles in a short workout.

That's it, simple. Of course, I want to love more, yell less, save money, find a way to keep my kids out of day camp all summer long, find and change jobs, be healthier, and all sorts of other things. But I will start with these two attainable goals on lunch and weight training for now.

Happy New Year!