Monday, November 24, 2008

My Dogs are Good Citizens!!!

Both dogs, Rocky (9 1/2 years) and Ollie (2 years), passed their AKC Good Citizen test this weekend.


My Visit to Mom

Each year I make a trip to visit my mom. She is about a 3 hour flight away. She lives in a boarding house with no car, so a visit involves a flight, renting a car, and getting a hotel room. The last 8 years, I have made this trip with family in tow, believing it was the right thing to do and that my children should know their grandmother. It was 6 years ago that my mom last visited me in my home. I have offered to pay for her to fly down, but she refuses for a variety of reasons. Perhaps I should have limited my travel or also been stubborn, but I didn't and kept up the annual visits, feeling guilty that they weren't more frequent or longer.

This year I accompanied my brother as he travelled with my neice to see Mom. My neice is 3 years old and this was her first time meeting my Mom. Mom won't get on an airplane for my brother either - at least she is conistent.

I left my family at home and was a little suprised that no one complained about not being included . . .

The visit was 3 days, 2 nights. We spent a total of 5 "visits" together over that time, each 3 - 4 hours long.

I was detached and very guarded as I feel tender lately working through issues associated with my relationship with my mother. I engaged in some debate once when she got into her usual mantra of how awful her working mother was, how she wasn't there for my mom, how she should never have been a mom, etc. She then immediately says that I'm not that way and that I'm doing it all. Meanwhile, I'm visiting my mom while my son is home, receiving a Boy Scout award - snother Boy Scouting event I've missed. The discussion leaves me feeling miserable, and I realize I shouldn't have let it go in that direction.

I took the role of timekeeping, using the neice's naps as an excuse to put time limits on each visit. It was a little bit of a drag to be the nag and timekeeper, but deep down I appreciated being in charge and Steve was accepting and even appreciative.

Being with my brother was awesome. He's met someone he imagines he will marry. I met her and liked her. My neice is growing up to be very independent and has a wonderful imaginiation.

Not sure when I'll go back, though, or who will come with me.

Thought for the Day

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering you own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.”

St. Francis de Sales

Sunday, November 23, 2008

My Number

You Are 6: The Loyalist

You have strong relationships and are intensely loyal.

People find you easy to love and care for.

You like your world to be stable and secure, no surprises.

You're cautious. You prefer your inner circle to the outside world.

At Your Best: You are courageous, a positive thinker, and expressive. You can take on the world.

At Your Worst: You are secretly insecure - which makes you sarcastic, cold, and argumentative.

Your Fixation: Doubt

Your Primary Fear: Abandonment

Your Primary Desire: Security and support

Other Number 6's: Mel Gibson, Woody Allen, Jay Leno, Marilyn Monroe, and Julia Roberts.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

You Tube, My Children, and the Rape Scene

It was just a matter of time.

We pride ourselves on not letting our kids have too much tv time. In fact our tv is smaller than a cereal box and they only watch videos on it. They don't even spend that much time on the computer, maybe 15 - 60 minutes a day.

But it doesn't take a lot of time to stumble upon inappropriate material.

Today my daughter was on You Tube looking up the Pokemon theme song so she could write down the words. She was almost done when my son said he wanted to look at the scary Pokemon video. I didn't think much about it, even when my daughter said it was too scary and she didn't want to see it again. I thought she was being dramatic, but that is not unusual for an 8 year old girl. I asked her how to find it and she told me the name. The Lost Episode. I saw that she had been searching on Ash and May kissing - they are two characters with a lot romantic tension, just like most shows. I scanned the videos after typing in "The Lost Episode", saw one that was animated and clicked.

With my son beside me I tried to click the pause button as soon as I saw the word "rape" in the opening words. I never saw what was next, but simply told my son that this video wasn't appropriate.

I then asked my daughter about the scary video and asked her to tell me what was scary. She said that Ash and May were kissing, and then May was screaming and then she was dead.

8 years old. I feel awful.

Thank goodness it was animated.

We've decide that You Tube is off limits, and we're looking into whether or not they have filters. But what do I say to my daughter? Do I stop with this or do I have a serious discussion about what she saw? What is age appropriate for an 8 year old.

Around this age my mom told me about sex and I remember my first nightmare about it. I used to fly alot in my dreams, up until my 20's, and I was flying in my dream when a man grabbed me and with his 5 foot penis (my mom forgot to put parameters on the items in our discussion) he had sex with me. It was awful and I can still visualize that dream 30 years later.

I don't want to do that to my daughter, but I also don't want to bury my head in the sand.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Quote for the Day

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Don't Forget to Vote!

- Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Jr. and Hillary Clinton (aka Bossy Mom)