Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My Bad

Last night was a complete disaster when it comes to family harmony. I came home to an empty house (the kids and husband were at swim lessons), the back door was open, the dog was loose (thank goodness she didn't run away as our back yard is not fenced), there was paint on the ground outside and it was tracked inside and was on the carpet, toys everywhere, pillow cushions everywhere, ripped up cardboard and miscellaneous papers everywhere. So when my husband walked in the door, I nagged. It wasn't "Hi Honey, how was your day?" or "Hi Sweetheart, nice to see you.". It was "Will you get the kids to clean this up while I make dinner?" So, I set the tone for the evening. My husband was so mad, he simply pulled the garbage can up, put it by the front door and started throwing away toys and all of the paint and brushes. The kids went from panic to distraction to yelling at us to stop yelling at them. Then, just when I had four pots on the stove, all going strong, the boss calls me on a personnel matter that had happened that day.

My glamorous life.

Thank goodness that my husband and I spent some time together once the kids were in bed and didn't go to bed angry.

But I caught myself keeping score, or "doing the math". I imagined if my husband had to ask me to do the things I do. "Honey, would you please wake up every morning before anyone else, make our lunches, then go to work, work 9 hours and come home to fix our dinner . . . oh, and don't forget that I get Saturday mornings all to myself while you care for the kids." But it goes both ways, "Honey, would you put your career on hold and work part-time, being available whenever the kids are sick or need to go to an appointment . . . also, pay all the bills and track our finances, and don't forget to be the calm, rational one when I'm not." I do have it good and I need to remember that next time I open my mouth with a nag instead of a warm greeting.


Sierra said...

I hate it when I realize that it's "my bad" that amplifies the chaos in my life. The bad news is that it happens a lot; the good news is that when that realization comes, it is within my control to turn the volume down.
Good for you to find gratitude and perspective in the frustrations of being Mom, Wife, Boss and Woman.

yertle said...

Thanks for the reminder to give kind greetings each day no matter what. It is hard sometimes to remember to "Be the change you want to see in the world."

It is so hard to remember that when you come home to a scene like that it usually means that the other person had a rough day, and probably could use some love and support too. Just like you can for wanting to come home to an orderly home and instead finding chaos.