Sunday, July 20, 2008

A Clean House

I have a little secret.

I'm really quite ashamed and almost too embarrassed to admit it.

It's a feeling I feel like I shouldn't have.

You see, the husband and kids have been gone for a week, and . . . .

Here it is: I have been enjoying my family being gone.

It hit me most when my mother-in-law asked if I was lonely and missing my family. I was honest and told her that I was making the most of my time alone. I am relishing in odd meal times, odd meals, lots of early morning activity, getting projects done, quiet, and most of all . . . a clean house, with things left where I put them and no new things appearing out of what seems like nowhere. A clean house, like a gift from heaven.

But I feel guilty. My daughter is suffering from serious homesickness - she's 7 years old and has been away from home for 3 weeks. We didn't quite expect the homesickness since the majority of time she had parents or a parent. But it's not the same as having your own bed, your own yard, your dog, your toys, your friends, even your own bathroom. I remember traveling extensively for my first job, and one of the things that really wore on me was public bathrooms - I got so sick of restaurant/work/hotel bathrooms. Weird, huh?

So, today I am grateful for my time alone, while I have it, and for knowing that my family will be home soon, so that then, I can be grateful for their presence.


yertle said...

I feel exactly the same way sometimes. Needing alone time is important I think. It is not shameful or embarrassing. it is a good part of self-care and making sure that you are keeping your pitcher full so that you can give.

For me it is a both/and. I miss them and I enjoy having time and space to myself. I enjoy being able to do what I want to do without having to worry about other people sometimes.

Sierra said...

My 2 days in the hospital were the BEST for that very reason. I could put stuff down and expect to find it exactly where I left it. I could eat what I wanted when I wanted and it was even brought to my bed! I didn't have to make considerations for anyone's needs but my own (with the exception of feeding baby who slept most of the time) and the best part was that I didn't have the incessant noise noise noise noise!
I love my family too, but it was really nice to get a break from them and enjoy time to recover and relax.