So after a very frustrating month with our new rescue dog, see Meet Ollie, I went to my first training session with Salem pictured here with the white dog.
Wow, I mean really WOW!
In the past 15 years, I have had private dog training, class training, and read books. Salem respected all that, but listened to my specific concerns, gave me some homework, and in just a couple days, my world has gotten 10 times better. I, of course, still have a lot more to do and a long way to go, but Ollie is acknowledging me and sticking close to me, which is what I need to get to the next step. I see light at the end of the tunnel and my husband finally agreed to let us get his license, his way of agreeing to keep the dog - yay!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Gratitude 7
I am grateful for:
- my husband
- Oreo cookies
- smart employees
- job applicants
- my yoga class last night
- morning walks
- my husband continuing the kids' swim lessons
- long weekends
- neighborhood parties
- kisses from my son last night as we said goodnight
- that our new dog acknowledges me more and more each day
- our new dog making it through the night in our bedroom without licking incessantly
- elastic waistbands (see Oreo cookies)
- being able to tell my husband that I was hurt and not forcing him to withdraw
- my husband
- Oreo cookies
- smart employees
- job applicants
- my yoga class last night
- morning walks
- my husband continuing the kids' swim lessons
- long weekends
- neighborhood parties
- kisses from my son last night as we said goodnight
- that our new dog acknowledges me more and more each day
- our new dog making it through the night in our bedroom without licking incessantly
- elastic waistbands (see Oreo cookies)
- being able to tell my husband that I was hurt and not forcing him to withdraw
Fear of Moving
I've been slowly facing my fear of moving as a contemplate a potential relocation.
First I was afraid of creating a new sense of community for myself and family, finding a home, finding all those little things (doctor, dentist, housekeeper, hairdresser, Girl Scout troop, Boy Scout troop, Rotary club, dry cleaner, vet, etc.), dealing with the stress of moving, selling the house that I LOVE, ruining my children, and the list goes on.
But lately, with the help of my husband, I have been seeing this more as an opportunity. To really integrate into a community. To pick my commute. To reevaluate what we want in a house and neighborhood and shop for just that. To loosen our financial belt a little and go for a 30 year mortgage instead of this suffocating 15 year mortgage we currently have. Here's how cool my husband is, he even agreed to do counseling before and after the move, just as a way to help us manage the stress and take care of our marriage.
I'm excited and feeling better and better each day.
Now I just need to get a job offer!
First I was afraid of creating a new sense of community for myself and family, finding a home, finding all those little things (doctor, dentist, housekeeper, hairdresser, Girl Scout troop, Boy Scout troop, Rotary club, dry cleaner, vet, etc.), dealing with the stress of moving, selling the house that I LOVE, ruining my children, and the list goes on.
But lately, with the help of my husband, I have been seeing this more as an opportunity. To really integrate into a community. To pick my commute. To reevaluate what we want in a house and neighborhood and shop for just that. To loosen our financial belt a little and go for a 30 year mortgage instead of this suffocating 15 year mortgage we currently have. Here's how cool my husband is, he even agreed to do counseling before and after the move, just as a way to help us manage the stress and take care of our marriage.
I'm excited and feeling better and better each day.
Now I just need to get a job offer!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
More Good Advice on Happiness
Courtesy of Carmine Coyote at http://www.slowleadership.org/blog/2008/08/how-to-give-up-suffering-the-workplace-blues/
Don’t buy the foolish idea you have a right to be happy and successful. There’s no such right. The best way to be happy is to give up being miserable. The best way to be successful is to be who you are and do what fits with that. Sometimes you’ll feel happy, sometimes sad, and very often neither. That’s the way life is. Smile and enjoy it.
Stop watching your emotions. They’re not worth it. They go up, then down, then up again like the stockmarket. No one really knows why, whatever they try to tell you — not even mental health professionals. You can’t will your emotions go or stay where you want, so quit driving yourself nuts by trying. Best of all, treat them like the weather: sometimes an inconvenience, sometimes a pain, and sometimes full of joyous sunshine. Many of them are probably due more to what you ate or drank yesterday than anything meaningful.
Don’t buy the foolish idea you have a right to be happy and successful. There’s no such right. The best way to be happy is to give up being miserable. The best way to be successful is to be who you are and do what fits with that. Sometimes you’ll feel happy, sometimes sad, and very often neither. That’s the way life is. Smile and enjoy it.
Stop watching your emotions. They’re not worth it. They go up, then down, then up again like the stockmarket. No one really knows why, whatever they try to tell you — not even mental health professionals. You can’t will your emotions go or stay where you want, so quit driving yourself nuts by trying. Best of all, treat them like the weather: sometimes an inconvenience, sometimes a pain, and sometimes full of joyous sunshine. Many of them are probably due more to what you ate or drank yesterday than anything meaningful.
Mid Week Motivator
Lessons from The Tao Te Ching or Daodejing
(Number 3 is my favorite)
1) Live with Commitment. Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth “You Owe Me”. Just look what happens with a love like that....It lights up the whole sky.
2) There is no way to Happiness...Happiness is the way. Bring Happiness to all you do.
3) You accomplish much by trying less.
4) See yourself in everyone you encounter. They want peace, not always struggling, not being sick. They want love.
5) Trust in other’s to know what’s best for them.
6) Live without attachments and be generous with what you have.
7) Be strong by bending.
8) When you have a choice to be “Right” or to be “Kind” – Always pick to be “Kind”.
9) Practice radical humility. Live low like the ocean for all the streams will come to it.
10) Rather than looking for Miracles, see everything as Miraculous.....
11) Practice death while you are alive. Live as though heaven is on earth. Release yourself from your burdens, regrets, guilt, and anger that cages you. Instead live in peace, tranquility, forgiveness and harmony.
(Number 3 is my favorite)
1) Live with Commitment. Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth “You Owe Me”. Just look what happens with a love like that....It lights up the whole sky.
2) There is no way to Happiness...Happiness is the way. Bring Happiness to all you do.
3) You accomplish much by trying less.
4) See yourself in everyone you encounter. They want peace, not always struggling, not being sick. They want love.
5) Trust in other’s to know what’s best for them.
6) Live without attachments and be generous with what you have.
7) Be strong by bending.
8) When you have a choice to be “Right” or to be “Kind” – Always pick to be “Kind”.
9) Practice radical humility. Live low like the ocean for all the streams will come to it.
10) Rather than looking for Miracles, see everything as Miraculous.....
11) Practice death while you are alive. Live as though heaven is on earth. Release yourself from your burdens, regrets, guilt, and anger that cages you. Instead live in peace, tranquility, forgiveness and harmony.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Flirtation
I have been 100% faithful to my husband for 10 years. It has been easy, actually, because all of my straying happens in my professional life.
You see, in those 10 years of faithfulness to my husband, I have changed jobs 3 times. And I'm working on number 4.
Last week I met with the hiring manager for a position in Monterey. I happened to be up there for a conference so I suggested we meet for coffee. He suggested dinner and I agreed. We met for 3 1/2 hours. He spent a lot of time talking about how hard he is to work for, how demanding he is, and then also what a slacker he was/is in his career and how he worked his way up from blue collar, a "country bumpkin" with a University of Phoenix degree rubbing elbows with the Stanford grads of the world. I enjoyed dinner and I enjoyed him, but I didn't go back to my hotel room thinking I found "the one". But then his administrative manager called me in the morning and asked if she could meet with me before I left the area. We met for a drink and spent 2 1/2 hours together. She was great and got me really excited about the possibility. She followed this man from her last job of 16 years. Her dedication and loyalty spoke volumes.
I didn't think I would move for what many would call a lateral career move. The title is the same, but he says he's going to retire in two years and this is succession planning. But it is still lateral . . . My mentor reminded me that although it would be great to find a great boss, what I really want is to be boss and not to lose sight of that. If I'm going to move my family, perhaps I shouldn't do it for less than a general manager position?
Anyhow, no decisions need to be made until I have an offer that must be answered. We'll just take it one day at a time.
You see, in those 10 years of faithfulness to my husband, I have changed jobs 3 times. And I'm working on number 4.
Last week I met with the hiring manager for a position in Monterey. I happened to be up there for a conference so I suggested we meet for coffee. He suggested dinner and I agreed. We met for 3 1/2 hours. He spent a lot of time talking about how hard he is to work for, how demanding he is, and then also what a slacker he was/is in his career and how he worked his way up from blue collar, a "country bumpkin" with a University of Phoenix degree rubbing elbows with the Stanford grads of the world. I enjoyed dinner and I enjoyed him, but I didn't go back to my hotel room thinking I found "the one". But then his administrative manager called me in the morning and asked if she could meet with me before I left the area. We met for a drink and spent 2 1/2 hours together. She was great and got me really excited about the possibility. She followed this man from her last job of 16 years. Her dedication and loyalty spoke volumes.
I didn't think I would move for what many would call a lateral career move. The title is the same, but he says he's going to retire in two years and this is succession planning. But it is still lateral . . . My mentor reminded me that although it would be great to find a great boss, what I really want is to be boss and not to lose sight of that. If I'm going to move my family, perhaps I shouldn't do it for less than a general manager position?
Anyhow, no decisions need to be made until I have an offer that must be answered. We'll just take it one day at a time.
What's in a Name?
Got this from Yertle . . .
What Tish Means |
 You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. |
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Gratitude 6
I am grateful for:
- the tooth fairy
- how adorable my daughter looks with her two front teeth gone
- short business trips to pretty areas - Monterey here I come!
- my new dog behaving better each day
- my husband accepting the new dog a little bit more each day
- my two dogs not killing eachother - fighting, yes, but no blood
- green hair and memories of summers at the pool
- supportive staff who take care of things when I go away
- my husband
- my dad's being cancer free even after an xray scare
- being able to donate blood
- the tooth fairy
- how adorable my daughter looks with her two front teeth gone
- short business trips to pretty areas - Monterey here I come!
- my new dog behaving better each day
- my husband accepting the new dog a little bit more each day
- my two dogs not killing eachother - fighting, yes, but no blood
- green hair and memories of summers at the pool
- supportive staff who take care of things when I go away
- my husband
- my dad's being cancer free even after an xray scare
- being able to donate blood
Thursday, August 14, 2008
What I Want
I was listening to a radio show about the law of attraction and he was advocating clarifying your wants. I realize I need to do this about my next job.
So here goes:
- Enough money so my husband can continue to stay home with the kids
- Flexibility to be home for dinner and on the weekends
- Authority to achieve the goals set forth
- Clearly defined goals and the opportunity to provide input on them
- A boss who will mentor and coach me
- Mutual respect
- Advancement opportunities
- An opportunity to continue to improve/protect the environment
- To live/work/volunteer in the same community
- A positive, supportive work culture
So here goes:
- Enough money so my husband can continue to stay home with the kids
- Flexibility to be home for dinner and on the weekends
- Authority to achieve the goals set forth
- Clearly defined goals and the opportunity to provide input on them
- A boss who will mentor and coach me
- Mutual respect
- Advancement opportunities
- An opportunity to continue to improve/protect the environment
- To live/work/volunteer in the same community
- A positive, supportive work culture
Pre-Interview
It was really scary, but I contacted the hiring manager of the job in Monterey and asked to meet with him. We're having dinner next week.
It took him a day to reply and I really felt exposed and scared. But now I am so glad I took the risk.
Now I'll get a chance to find out what he's looking for and if it matches what I want.
Yeah!!!
It took him a day to reply and I really felt exposed and scared. But now I am so glad I took the risk.
Now I'll get a chance to find out what he's looking for and if it matches what I want.
Yeah!!!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Gratitude 5
I am grateful for:
- my son's fondness of Monopoly
- my daughter's ability to play banker in Monopoly
- that my husband takes my kids to swim lessons
- my new dog getting better each day at heel, sit, stay, down and come
- my two dogs actually playing together yesterday
- my husband's willingness to give this second dog thing a go
- Gmail
- leash-free parks
- new job opportunities
- my son's fondness of Monopoly
- my daughter's ability to play banker in Monopoly
- that my husband takes my kids to swim lessons
- my new dog getting better each day at heel, sit, stay, down and come
- my two dogs actually playing together yesterday
- my husband's willingness to give this second dog thing a go
- Gmail
- leash-free parks
- new job opportunities
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Scared
One of my lines finally got a nibble.
The HR person called and said that the hiring manager asked her to specifically look up my applciation. I thought the job had gone away, but no. I might be a shoe in. I might be able to snag it before it is advertised - I might have the inside track. I might just get into a position to be mentored for 2 years before taking the No. 1 spot.
I might have to move my family.
I'm scared. It's a big deal to move my family for a job. I have always fantasized about giving my kids the stability I never had, but I also have no real glue here. Friends, yes. Family, no. No "real" glue.
I'm planning to pursue it. My husband is supportive and encouraging.
A chance to live, work and volunteer all in one community. My dream.
The HR person called and said that the hiring manager asked her to specifically look up my applciation. I thought the job had gone away, but no. I might be a shoe in. I might be able to snag it before it is advertised - I might have the inside track. I might just get into a position to be mentored for 2 years before taking the No. 1 spot.
I might have to move my family.
I'm scared. It's a big deal to move my family for a job. I have always fantasized about giving my kids the stability I never had, but I also have no real glue here. Friends, yes. Family, no. No "real" glue.
I'm planning to pursue it. My husband is supportive and encouraging.
A chance to live, work and volunteer all in one community. My dream.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Mysterious Black Goo
I love boys.
Heck, I even love men!
But my poor house suffers when too many come over.
This weekend we had 6 kids over for dinner and here are the results:
- Broken bow - 1
- Broken arrow - 2
- Mysterious black goo stain on carpet in workout/yoga room - 1
- Mess - everywhere
The oldest kid of this bunch is a little rowdy and I discovered him with my daughter twice breaking house rules that she should know. She ended up in a time out for quite a while after the second time, and the rest of the kids were told to stay where a parent could see them. I try to be understanding, but I find myself simply not wanting him to come over to my home again. This kid seems to take things just a little too far for my comfort. But he's the son of my close friend's boyfriend and her children and mine play often, so it is natural to sometimes have his two sons too. They have been together for more than 6 months and his family is a fixture in her life.
Maybe I'll hold my judgement until this carpet stain comes up, right now I'm just upset about the damage.
Heck, I even love men!
But my poor house suffers when too many come over.
This weekend we had 6 kids over for dinner and here are the results:
- Broken bow - 1
- Broken arrow - 2
- Mysterious black goo stain on carpet in workout/yoga room - 1
- Mess - everywhere
The oldest kid of this bunch is a little rowdy and I discovered him with my daughter twice breaking house rules that she should know. She ended up in a time out for quite a while after the second time, and the rest of the kids were told to stay where a parent could see them. I try to be understanding, but I find myself simply not wanting him to come over to my home again. This kid seems to take things just a little too far for my comfort. But he's the son of my close friend's boyfriend and her children and mine play often, so it is natural to sometimes have his two sons too. They have been together for more than 6 months and his family is a fixture in her life.
Maybe I'll hold my judgement until this carpet stain comes up, right now I'm just upset about the damage.
Gratitude 4
I am grateful for:
- Being able to talk to my husband about anything.
- Neighbors who invite my children over for play dates.
- The big fat Sunday paper and a pot of coffee.
- My playgroup of almost 8 years and the families who participate.
- My babysitter, who is coming Friday and willing to watch 4 kids total.
- Early morning runs.
- My new dog getting better and better on the leash and off.
- The finances for my volunteer organization balancing for June and July.
- 180 calorie Kashi Roll bars, which have 12 g protein and 6 g fiber, and to Yertle for reminding me to eat more frequently.
- Being able to talk to my husband about anything.
- Neighbors who invite my children over for play dates.
- The big fat Sunday paper and a pot of coffee.
- My playgroup of almost 8 years and the families who participate.
- My babysitter, who is coming Friday and willing to watch 4 kids total.
- Early morning runs.
- My new dog getting better and better on the leash and off.
- The finances for my volunteer organization balancing for June and July.
- 180 calorie Kashi Roll bars, which have 12 g protein and 6 g fiber, and to Yertle for reminding me to eat more frequently.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Third Wristband
First of all, thanks to Yerlte for your kind words about unconditional love. You made me very, very happy to know that you feel this way about our friendship and my feelings for you. What a treat to hear it!
An thanks to Sierra for the good dog advice. I took Ollie to a fenced tennis court area and he ran and ran (and pooped three times) and seemed to tire himself out. He likes to catch the ball, but then just prances and shows off that he has it.
So today I took the kids to Boomers, a local amusement park. I used some points from the San Diego Blood Bank, where I donate several times a year, to get all day passes, or "wristbands". We got 4 to start and had planned to take the kids twice while the adult(s) watches. Well, I decided to use a pass for myself. I got to ride go karts, play miniature golf, ride a Ferris wheel, play laser tag, get nauseous on the tea cups, and even ride the merry-go-round swings. I had so much fun playing along with my kids and enjoying the day. I stressed less, yelled less, and threatened less. All in all a good time.
It hit me the hardest when I was on the swings. These are the swings that hang from long chains and then get twirled around - this ride by a large clown - clown story to follow. So my daughter talked me into riding this and I was told to sit in front of a little 4 year old girl, to "balance" the ride. After a few rotations, this darling little girl belts out a "Wheee, yeah!" and throws back her head. Well, who was I not to follow suit. Then she started laughing and laughing - what a delight!
About the clowns, did you know that it is International Clown Week??? We met Dizzy Dave, a quiet, almost nervous clown who works a desk job at AT&T when he is not clowning around. We had a great conversation with him over cotton candy, which the kids offered to share. It was fun to listen to the kids ask him who he saw at ComiCon. (this is the blog for links, huh?). Then we ran into Dizzy's friends in the parking lot - they were joining him for a round of miniature golf - a close knit group of friends, all dressed to the nines in clown gear, and wheeling one clown in a wheelchair. I have never seen a disabled clown and something about the site warmed my heart. To have that joy and to share it, too beautiful. My kids got "I saw a clown today" stickers and it was great! I felt like the town know-it-all when I told them "Oh, Dizzy Dave is inside waiting for you!"
A beautiful day for sure!
An thanks to Sierra for the good dog advice. I took Ollie to a fenced tennis court area and he ran and ran (and pooped three times) and seemed to tire himself out. He likes to catch the ball, but then just prances and shows off that he has it.
So today I took the kids to Boomers, a local amusement park. I used some points from the San Diego Blood Bank, where I donate several times a year, to get all day passes, or "wristbands". We got 4 to start and had planned to take the kids twice while the adult(s) watches. Well, I decided to use a pass for myself. I got to ride go karts, play miniature golf, ride a Ferris wheel, play laser tag, get nauseous on the tea cups, and even ride the merry-go-round swings. I had so much fun playing along with my kids and enjoying the day. I stressed less, yelled less, and threatened less. All in all a good time.
It hit me the hardest when I was on the swings. These are the swings that hang from long chains and then get twirled around - this ride by a large clown - clown story to follow. So my daughter talked me into riding this and I was told to sit in front of a little 4 year old girl, to "balance" the ride. After a few rotations, this darling little girl belts out a "Wheee, yeah!" and throws back her head. Well, who was I not to follow suit. Then she started laughing and laughing - what a delight!
About the clowns, did you know that it is International Clown Week??? We met Dizzy Dave, a quiet, almost nervous clown who works a desk job at AT&T when he is not clowning around. We had a great conversation with him over cotton candy, which the kids offered to share. It was fun to listen to the kids ask him who he saw at ComiCon. (this is the blog for links, huh?). Then we ran into Dizzy's friends in the parking lot - they were joining him for a round of miniature golf - a close knit group of friends, all dressed to the nines in clown gear, and wheeling one clown in a wheelchair. I have never seen a disabled clown and something about the site warmed my heart. To have that joy and to share it, too beautiful. My kids got "I saw a clown today" stickers and it was great! I felt like the town know-it-all when I told them "Oh, Dizzy Dave is inside waiting for you!"
A beautiful day for sure!
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