Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Tough Questions

Some tough questions from

Questions to ask in
pursuit of self-awareness

What are your limitations? I think I should have none, but the ones I have are self-imposed.

What are your emotional weaknesses? Crying.

What are your emotional hot buttons? Feeling like I failed to perform.

Where are you vulnerable to bullying? Work and in relationships where I feel a difference in power - authority figures.


Do you confront your fears? I'm learning to.

Are you afraid of failing? Absolutely.

Are you afraid of making mistakes? Yes.


Do you fear anger in others? A little - I tend to assume that it will lead to action.

Do you feel too much guilt? Maybe.

Do you feel responsible for people who have made their own choices? Yes, sometimes.


Are you anxious to build good relationships? Yes.

Are you the only one contributing to a relationship? I've learned that soemtimes I am - like with my mom - but I am learning not to.

Do you allow others to be destructive towards you? Yes, but I want to change.

Do you blindly trust others? No.


Do you blindly give them the benefit of the doubt? Generally, yes.

Are you anxious for the approval of others? Yes, especially superiors or elders.

Do you fear criticism from others? Yes - it makes me think I failed.

Do you avoid confronting others? Yes.

Do you avoid discomfort in relationships? Generally. I justify it by thinking there is nothing to gain.


Do you depend on others for your happiness? I don't think I do, but maybe I am lying to myself.

Are you afraid to be emotionally independent? I've never thought about that.

Are you afraid of being emotionally isolated? I don't think so.

Do you seek self-confident personalities to compensate for your weakness? I don't think of myself as having weaknesses, generally, but I do prefer to be around confident people. I find I am impatient with those who seem to be victims, and am especially impatient/lack understanding for my victim roles.


Are you worried about what others think about you? Yes, I think it influences/impacts my effectiveness as a leader.

Are you overly polite? Yes, well, not sure if I'm "overly" polite.

Are you polite to people who are intentionally hurting you? I don't like to stoop to their level, so yes, but I'm not sure that's wrong.

Are you afraid of sounding abrupt? I'm afraid of stooping.

Do you avoid being simple and direct? Based on the above, yes, I guess I do.


Are you thinking like a victim? Sometimes.

Do you stand up for your rights? Most of the time.

Are you straightforward with others? Yes, but I try to deliver effectively.


Are you overwhelmed by hate for a bully? A little right now.

Is hate clouding your thinking? No, I am controlling it.

Is your frustration carrying into your personal life? I'm controlling that too.


Are you aware of the emotions and attitudes of others? Yes.

Do you listen carefully to the intent behind the words? Not so much.

Do you ask questions to understand others better? Not always.

Are you naïve about the attitudes and thinking of others? Yes, at times.


How have you responded to past bullying? Leaving.

Are you currently being bullied? Yes.

Do you know how to defend yourself against bullying? I'm learning.

Are you willing to begin fighting bullies? YES!

Are you willing to persevere until the fight is completely over? YES

Are you willing to change yourself? YES, and I'm getting help

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