Last night I called my mom while making dinner. I try to call every couple weeks to check in - the regular calls keep her from feeling ignored and getting anxious. We've had a strained relationship ever since I was a teenager, but it gets better each year. Probably because I keep learning better ways to cope without pushing her away.
Anyhow, towards the end of the conversation she says something to the effect of "I hope that you are living up to your potential, you could be and do anything." I know she means well, but at times I feel this overwhelming pressure to live the life she didn't have. She was a stay at home mom and was wrecked financially after the divorce. She instilled in me a belief that women can do anything men can do and that a woman should work for money to stay independent. When I get caught up in the do everything, be everything, I try to step back and think about the long-term and balance. I would rather fail miserably career-wise than risk losing my husband to divorce, and this is not something I can say to my mom who initiated her two divorces.
So, what is my potential? What is the "all" in "having it all"?
I know I could be a better wife, mom and boss, but at what cost to me?