Tuesday, May 20, 2008

If My Boss Were My Greatest Teacher

Yertle challenged me to think of my boss as my greatest teacher and to figure out what lesson he is teaching me.

When I went into therapy in the winter right around when all the s**t hit the fan, my therapist found that I was interacting with my boss in similar ways to how I interacted with my mom during the divorce. I felt helpless, yet I also felt like so many boundaries were trespassed. She was my mom, divorcing my dad, and she spent countless hours telling me why he was a bad person, treating me like a confidant. I gave her power because of her position, but she violated it in so many ways by not respecting the responsibilities of her role as my mom.

These two people, my boss and my mom, were in positions of power over me and they both abused me verbally. Because of their power, I thought I had to accept that form of treatment, that I had no choice, that they were right and that in some way I must have deserved that treatment.

I had people with great responsibility let me down and disappoint me.

So what am I to learn. The cynic says to learn that people in power are no greater than me, and maybe even less responsible. That everyone is human. That even though I am in a lower position, that I have boundaries that no one may violate. That no one has a right to degrade me, no matter if they are my mom, my boss or the king of England.

Yes, thanks Yertle.

I think you helped me uncover my lesson.

1 comment:

yertle said...

Wow, glad it helped. It is interesting that the biggest stressors often seem to go back to the parents. It's almost like it is a gift in that it provides a second chance to do what you wish you could have done as a kid, but couldn't since you were only a kid. This time you get to speak up!