Monday, September 10, 2007

Entering Week 4

My darling little girl has been sick for just over three weeks and we finally broke down and started antibiotics for what we think is a respiratory infection.

When you don't catch asthma fast enough, or manage it well enough during an illness, the mucus stays in the lungs and can lead to infection. After a visit to the doctor last week, we discovered that the medicine simply wasn't getting into her lungs.

They gave us a new device that has a one-way valve and only administers the medicine when one inhales through the mouthpiece. God bless the engineer who designed this as it has been our savior. She's getting about twice the medicine she used to and we saw improvement within days. We were hopeful that the lungs would open up and we'd avoid the antibiotics, but when she complained of not feeling well this morning, and with our son now sick, my husband filled the prescription.

Which brings up a side point. One of the real challenges of being the one who works full-time away from the home is that I don't have control sometimes. I can give my input, on what I know, but my husband gets to make the call. I try to trust his judgement, but I'd be lying if I said we agreed on everything. Sometimes I sit at work so frustrated about my lesser role in my children's care giving, at my powerlessness in all of this. Then I worry that gender matters and that my kids need their mom, at home, with them. But in the end, I just try to be thankful that they have their dad at home to take them to school and pick them up. Many don't even have that. My support may not always be being there, but I am making it possible for many things through earning my salary. I just can't be both the wage earner and care giver, and sometimes that's really hard because having to pick just one seems so unfair.

I guess we could switch roles, but that would dramatically affect our ability to stay in our neighborhood, save for college and save for retirement. Plus, it's not clear that I would be happy trying to be part-time worker and home for the kids.

Perhaps the grass just seems greener on the other side of the fence.

1 comment:

Sierra said...

I am totally convinced that circumstances are what they are becuase we choose them. If you want it all, you can have it all. You just need to decide what you are willing to sacrifice for it. If you are unhappy and unfulfilled, then it could be time for a change. If you are just tired, its time for some "me" time. Good luck with deciding what you want most. That's the hardest part.